Mad

I got mad this week. About several things. Things that were out of my control. Did I mention I was mad.? Boy, the energy of ‘mad’ is tense. My body was tense, my face was scrunched up and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I finally fell asleep that night, only to awaken in the wee hours to toss and turn, my mind churning and churning. I was mad…still mad. I  didn’t get any rest that night and I was still mad. Until I wasn’t.

Mercifully, the next morning, I sat a while with Mae, our cat, and decided to start again. Instead of continuing my madness with emails and phone calls to express my outrage and displeasure, I simply didn’t. And throughout the day I shed my madness.

I was making “things beyond my control’ about me….I was taking them personally. They had nothing to do with me. I wanted to control them. Just not possible.

I experienced being mad and I made that about me, too. That’s a truth I could do something about. I was able to see the madness for what it was and start again. Call it mercy or grace. Maybe spiritual growth.

Bottom line…in my heart I am grateful for knowing how to feel madness and how to recover. And that is something.

Today, feeling more at ease.
Paula