June is a significant month for me. June 6th holds a particular significance. I was diagnosed with cancer on this day…back in 1994. Twenty-eight years ago I found out the lump in my left breast was malignant. And so started my journey through the gauntlet of cancer treatment.
After twenty-eight years you might think that experience is faded from memory. And you would be right…but only for some of it. Other parts are fresh in my mind. And I continue to this day to tease out the lesson or the wisdom or a greater depth of understanding from that time in my life and in the years since. It’s been quite a ride.
I think grace is what allowed me to not be overcome by cancer. Cancer and other ‘big stuff’ that I’ve experienced since then. I feel that. Grace. Something in my nature, in my spiritual nature, at the core of me beyond my physical self. Something that whispered, “No matter what, you are good. Don’t be afraid. You can’t fail. Your wholeness is guaranteed. It’s all much bigger than what you can see.”
We all have it. Grace. It’s how we can keep on keeping on…especially through the ‘big stuff’. Sometimes I sit and cry and feel the release that it brings. Sometimes I distract myself with busyness until I find the strength to face it straight away. Sometimes I just sit and stare into nothing until there is a tiny spark. Every time, grace is what brings me back. It brings me back to strength, humility, hope…and even joy.
Thank God for grace.
Paula
