What do you do with pain? Emotional pain. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I find ways to distract myself from feeling hurt, jealous or angry. Sometimes I am really good at hiding my pain…my disappointment and frustration. I just push it down and pretend it doesn’t really hurt.
But the problem is…it’s still there. The pain is still there. It’s like a splinter in your finger. It looks small but it hurts…bad. Or it’s like a scab you keep picking at. It keeps bleeding, scabbing over and then bleeding again. No chance to heal.
As hard as it seems to be, I need to acknowledge the pain before I put it away. Feel it, have the expereince of it. Let it have its way with me. That’s the only way to begin to heal.
“Just let it go”, they say. “If it’s not serving your highest good, just release it”, they advise. “Put it on a piece of paper and burn it in the fire, go ahead and do that.” Sorry…it’s not always that easy. You have to feel it before you can be free of it. I’ve decided that’s just the way it works.
Release happens after the wisdom is gained, once the experience is complete, when you can hold your broken self in your own loving arms…and say “Yes I’m still here, I made it!” The scar may still be visible from the scab I kept picking at..but the pain is no longer, well, so painful. I am healing.
Humble
Paula
