All perfection means is, it’s the way you’ve dreamed it to be. It’s a story you believe has no negatives…all pros and no cons. Perfection is a construct, a fantasy. A perfect life? What even is that and has anyone ever lived it? I think we need a more accurate word to describe what we really want life to be…not perfect…maybe fulfilling.
That’s what I want my life to be…fulfilling. I want my life to have meaning. I want to feel joy and be free from fear. I want to know what it feels like to be at ease and hopeful…and to not be overcome by anxiety. I want a rich life…not a perfect life. I want to learn and grow and change my mind. I want to offer the best of me as often as I can. And I want to see the best in others, too.
I’ve been thinking…our desire for perfection is what makes compromise a four letter word…even though it has ten letters. To live a rich and fulfilling life requires compromise. It requires that we make mutual concessions, that we meet each other halfway, that we make an effort to understand. It requires that we be satisfied with moving forward bit-by-bit rather than being in a stalemate for years or decades or lifetimes…waiting for perfection.
Certainly, some things are non-negotiable. Human rights, dignity, respect, among them. But hear this: we cannot change the past and not everyone can get exactly what they want, in the next step, as we move forward. If we refuse anything but what we call perfection, we are doomed. We will be stuck. And instead of a fulfilled life we will have a life filled with tension, fear and anxiety.
I wrote this message to remind myself of what I want my life to be. I wrote it to remind myself that compromise is the way forward and that there is no such thing as perfect. I wrote this to remind myself that I am not always right and that I have room to grow. From this place I can be a better me…and that feels good.